Rut

I haven't posted in ages, because I have had absolutely nothing to post about. Well, that’s not quite true, it's just that everything has been quite rubbish and I was thinking it's probably best if I make post miserable posts but now I think I am so bored, what the hell I’m going to make a post anyway because it’s almost funny. Almost.

I am completely stuck in a rut at the moment and so annoyed that it's October and so far everything I've tried to do this year has gone completely wrong, even though I had decided it wasn't going to be like that this year.

I started learning to drive, good, I was thinking, I've actually been able to manage to start something. Well, so much for that. It started off fine, but got progressively worse. The driving instructor bought a new car, so I had to go from a diesel car to a petrol car and it took me ages to get used to the difference. The accelerator on the petrol car was so much more sensitive than the diesel, if I even slightly touched the pedal it was too much and I'd end up stalling it or not even getting the stupid thing started.

I began to get used to the new car but then had an awful lesson the day after my dog died. I wasn't in the best frame of mind, and it was a bad day to have a go at going out on a main road. Anyway, a few weeks ago there was an awkward incident and the instructor decided I was too dangerous and didn't want to take me out anymore. So I decided it was best to leave it there for a while. Complete disaster.

So whenever people ask how the driving is going (I KNEW I shouldn't have mentioned it to anyone) I've been reduced to making it into a bit of a joke and saying, ha, guess what, I can’t go anymore because the instructor says I’m too dangerous. Of course actually I’m really fed up about the whole thing. I won’t tell anyone the details, which I suppose probably leaves people wondering what on Earth happened and imagining some sort of ridiculous disaster.

Another annoying thing, the day before that I had a job interview. I thought, oh good, progress. What did I do? I completely messed it up. I won’t go into the details (again) but I was very annoyed. Having said that, I didn't like the place much, but still.
Well, that's enough I think. There are a myriad of other things that have gone wrong recently but I've mostly blanked them all out. The general theme is that I keep messing things up, really badly. Or I just can't even get started. Not only that but I feel so left out of just about everything.

Anyway, here's something interesting to balance the post out. I recorded a tune, I've been meaning to do this for ages and I've just finished it, so here it is. I even managed to put fake drums in, although not many because I didn't want to over do it.

I was going to embed the mp3 into this post, but of course that annoying 'active media' yellow bar thing pops up, so for the time being before I get round to bunging the file into Flash or something, here's a link to download it: Tune.